Another overdue update

This is gonna take forever 2 write all this but here goes.....



Friday 20th Feb.....



Had ann summers party 2nite. Lj jen sharon laura nikki n robyn all came. It was mad. I bought a top frm emma the girl that done my party n after my party finished i wore it out. Let me tell u i had guys eyes popping out all nite hehe. we went up 2 Morgans n had a wee dance n this guy Rab that i had been txtin was there. B4 we left i kissed him twice. We went 2 the fids in Largs which 4 me always means trouble lol. Me my sis lj n sharon were having a gr8 time then my sis n i got into a huge argument n i lost my temper n threw a drink in her face. I was soooo stupid n i regretted it straight away. She left n we never spoke til sunday.



Sat 21st Feb.....



Went 2 the cinema 2 c confessions of a shopoholic n then pizza hut wiv mr x. Was a really gd nite.



Fri 27th Feb.....



Went 2 the pub wiv Peter n then Hayley came n joined us. Me n Hayley ended up drinking sambucas at 7pm. Needless 2 say i ended up a tad drunk lol. We went up 2 linseys 4 more drink n we went 2 visit my mum who threw me out cause i was 2 drunk lol. We went down 2 Morgans wiv Linsey. My wee bro came in n sat wiv us n then Rab came in. his ex was in n she gave me a hard time in the toilet. telling me all this stuff bout Rab. I tasted my drink n it seemed funny n i gave it 2 my brother who finished it then said it did taste funny.



When the pub closed me hayley my bro linsey n wee alec decided 2 go up the milton 4 a party. Me n alec got up there n turned back. We got halfway home n foned a taxi.



Woke up on sat morning wiv a txt from my bro telling me my drink had defo been spiked cause he was hallucinating. So glad i never drank it..



Sat 28th Feb...



Went 2 the pub at lunchtime wiv mum n Davy 4 a curer then met Hayley at 2pm n we went 2 mines 2 get drunk. Robyn came at half 3 then Debi n Sammy came at 5. We all got really drunk n got a taxi 2 the station n got the train 2 Glasgow where we went 2 the toby jug. Met these guys who were all HOT.. I kissed 2 of them, 1 was called mick n the 1 i really liked was called Jason (found his name out on sat).We got the last train home n me hayley n robyn went 2 Morgans. The dj was hot but a tad arrogant. Wish i could tell u more bout that nite but it is still mostly a blank page 4 me lol.



Sun 1st March....



Mr x took me 2 pizza hut again n it was really gd. We came bach here n i made him watch desperate housewives.



Fri 6th March....



Nikki persuaded me 2 go out n 2 be honest i wasn't that keen cause i hate rewind n i n knew that Rabs ex n her pals were gonna be there. We had a drink in her house n then got a taxi 2 Morgans. I knew as soon as i walked in that it was a mistake as i was getting heavy growls. There was no seats n nikki kept leaving me on my own so i left after not even an hour n went home.



Sat 7th March....

Went 2 the pub wiv my stepdad then Hayley came met us n me n her went 2 mines 2 get ready. Taxi came at 745 and we just made the train. Went 2 the toby jug in Glasgow where me n Hayley planned on staying til it was time 4 the last train but jen n sharon came n met us. Me n Jen had a long talk n got everything sorted between us. the guys from last week came in n i found that the hot guy from last week was called Jason. Jason gave me his number b4 he went 2 campus n persuaded me 2 go 2 silver. Once he left i got dancing wiv a guy called scott who i persuaded 2 go 2 silver. Hayley actually asked me 2 stop kissing scott so that she could... As if lol. We all went 2 silver n were having a gr8 time. I had kissed Scott bout a million times n things clicked into place. I had met him in buffalo joes last year hehe. Jackie got a bit of hassle from sum girl so hayley stuck up 4 her. Next thing a bouncer grabbed Hayley n she got thrown out. Me n scott followed her n the 3 of us sat in the bus shelter outside eating chips. Finally i saw Jen coming out n i went 2 get her n saw her walk up n punch some girl. Me n a bouncer pulled her away. I dragged her down the road a bit n the girl came for more. I don't think i've ever seen my sis fight b4. Finally managed 2 drag her away n i sent her away wiv Scott while i got the other 3. Jackie was standing in the Q for her jacket so i got her as i had her jacket. When i turned round again i saw Hayley lying on the ground n sharon helping her up. Hayley had decided 2 start fighting wiv the girl n she got a kicking. Finally fot everyone 2 the taxi. We had just left Glasgow n sharon txt me 2 tell that Hayley was crying so i got davie the taxi driver 2 put music on n turn it up. I'd had enough Dramas 4 one nite. Finally got home at 4am.

Sun 8th March...

Spent the day in bed then mr x picked me up n we went 2 pizza hut. Found out Rab is seeing someone else so told him where 2 go.

Was planning on a quiet weekend but now am going 2 morgans 2nite n Glasgow 2moz nite so bring on the drama lol xxxxxxx

Overdue update!!!!!!

Bit of a delay as i've had so much 2 deal wiv. couldn't put it off much longer as steve was hounding me lol... Didn't say in my last entry but i was pregnant.. 13 weeks!! Its all over now but will explain further on...


Sat 7th Feb

We decided 2 go 2 Irvine 4 Robyns bday. Me Jen n Sharon got ready in mums n then went to Morgans 2 meet robyn Nikki n Joanne then we all got a taxi 2 Irvine. We went 2 pitchers bar 4 a few but i started getting crippling stomach pains n when i went 2 the toilet i was heavily bleeding so i got a taxi home n went 2 bed.. I was a bit gutted as i'd been looking forward 2 it 4 ages. Pitchers were having a popcorn party...

Sun 8th Feb

Sunday was ryans 6th birthday party which was just mayhem.. We had a dj n the bouncy castle but i couldn't enjoy it as i was still in lots of pain. Went 2 the pub afterwards as the kids were away on holiday wiv their nana n papa 4 the week. Only had a few then came home n went 2 bed wiv pain killers.

Mon 9th Feb

finally went 2 the hospital wiv the stomach pain where i was told i had miscarried. Have 2 go back on wed 4 a d and c procedure.. Went 2 stay wiv mr x as i didn't wanna be on my own. Also stayed on the tues nite..

Wed 11th Feb

Had the procedure 2day. It wasn't nice and i was left in lots of pain. Went 2 stay wiv mr x again n he looked after me really gd..

Fri 13th Feb

Went to the pub this afternoon wiv mum n davy n got rather drunk n mum wanted 2 go 2 the pub but davy got jealous so i went 2 kilwinning 2 stay wiv Lj at her nanas so i could help her prepare for her engagement party. It was so gd being wiv her as i was feeling really low.

Sat 14th Feb

I hate being single on valentines day. It really sucks n then 2 top it off it was my best pals engagement party. don't get me wrong, am really happy 4 her n wullie but i was lonely lol. I ended up hammered n didn't actually but a drink. I ended up flashing my boobs then my bum n i told davy exactly wot i thought of him then had my head down the toilet 4 20 mins. Thats wot happens when ur single on valentines day.

Sun 15th Feb

I spent the day wiv mr x. I really need 2 try n cut him out my life! He's not gd 4 me

An emotional weekend

Last week was a bit emotional 4 me. Didn't c Derek all week and he tried 2 tell me he wasn't avoiding me. I tried not 2 let him get 2 me but it did.. All week he told me he wasn't going 2 my cousins 21st party then he decided he didn't really wanna go 2 his works nite out so i thought fuck u derek.... On thurs my aunt decided i couldn't go 2 my cousins party on Fri cause of wot had happened last weekend so i decided i'd go out in Irvine wiv Lj n Hayley. went 2 the pub at half 4 wiv my sis 4 a few but she only stayed 4 2 drinks then left me waiting on my stepdad on my own.. Gave me time 2 think bout how gutted i was not 2 be going out wiv my family. All i wanted was someone 2 say that they would stay wiv me but noone did. I'd have told them 2 go but i just wanted someone 2 offer. Anyway stayed in the pub wiv my stepdad n the more drink i had the more upset i got. Left the pub 2 go 2 mums 2 get ready but i was 2 early n when i seen them all ready i just burst into tears. I was so upset. There taxi came n they left me sitting there in tears. Derek txt me 2 tell me he was now going 2 the party. Was not happy.... My brother who was at his pals foned me n cause i was so upset they changed there taxi time n came round 2 sit wiv me til it was time 4 me 2 go.. Mr x picked me up round the corner from mums n took me 2 Lj's house where she took 1 look at me n gave me a hug cause she could tell i needed it. I got more drunk while she got ready then we got a taxi 2 meet Hayley. We went 2 Pitchers bar where in a fit of rage i smashed my fone off the toilet floor.. Not a wise move as i broke it.. Managed 2 get a wee kiss standing at the bar from sum random.. Certainly cheered me up.. We moved onto the kings then viva. My sis, sharon n Derek appeared but cause it was after curfew n the police were hanging around the bouncerts wouldn't let them in so the 3 of us got our coats n left wiv them.. We went round 2 pitchers who let us in.. Lj had paid me into viva so i said i'd pay her in.. Cost 11 quid 4 both of us n my jacket, gave the girl a 20 n she gave me 19 quid back, dozy cow.... We had been in pitchers 4 a bit n we decided 2 go 4 a fag.. Cause i was drunk n not caring i asked Derek wot was going on n he told me we're just pals.. "just pals, i'll show u just pals" i said as we were going back in.. Grabbed the nxt guy that caught my eye n started kissing him.. Done this another 3 times then went 4 a dance wiv Lj feeling gr8..She told me Derek was raging when i was wiv them guys but i was past caring n so sick of not knowing where i stand... When we were outside at the end of the nite my feet were killing me n it was 2 cold 2 sit on the ground. so i asked sum guy 2 sit on the ground so i could sit on his knee n he did it.. He was pretty hot so when he asked me 2 move away 4 a kiss i didn't hesitate, well i did long enough 2 give derek my shoes 2 hold.. Once again he didn't look happy but he made his choice it was time 4 him 2 deal wiv it.. We got in the taxi n Derek asked if he could come back 2 mines 4 a bit n i thought fuck it lol.. He was only supposed 2 stay 4 a bit cause he had 2 get home 4 his wee girl but we fell asleep n he jumped up wiv his mum phoning so he ran out..

On sat morning i went 2 tesco at 815 cause i couldn't handle not having a fone. Bought 1 n came home.. Put my sim in n had loads of messages from mr x.. He was worried cause he hadn't heard from me.. I foned him cause it was his bday. I was really upset that i couldn't be wiv him.. Got off the fone hd a wee cry n took myself back 2 bed 4 the day...

Got up after 3 n went 2 mums 2 get ready.. Was going 2 Dereks work nite out wiv him mum n davy.. Taxi took us down after 6 n it was gd. Me n derek were getting on so well but at 9pm he left 2 go 2 his sisters house 2 play pictionary. That made me feel so special, being left 4 PICTIONARY... Coco who works wiv them asked me where my bf was n i said i didn't have 1 anymore n he thought this was gr8.. He was 1 of the guys that hit Stewart at new year lol.. We had a dance n a kiss then rochelle the fat boot made a comment that my dress looked like a bin bag.. Come on u should c her on a nite out.. l look gd dressed up, she doesn't.... Anyway decided the nite had been enough of a flop 4 me n got a taxi home.. Came in put my pj's on n chilled wiv a book.. It was gr8. Wiv all the hassle of Derek n mr x i forgot wot it was like 2 just chill out on my own when the kids weren't there... Mr x foned trying 2 get me over but i was 2 relaxed 2 do anything n i had the best sat nite sleep i've had in a long time...

Woke up on sun wiv 8 txts n 6 missed calls from derek trying 2 come 2 mines... Mr x came over 4 a few hours then i chilled wiv my book and Derek came at nite.. We played friends scene it which he is yet 2 beat me at n then he actually stayed over which he never does on a work nite.. He couldn't sleep so kept me awake. Everytime i tried 2 sleep he'd wake me up again by flicking my ear or pulling my hair.. He got a few punches cause am very grumpy when tired..

Holly came back from her dads this morning n i realised she is scared of the snow which is rather funny cause me n ryan luv it so much lol

Ryan turns 6 on thurs n is having a disco nxt sun which is gonna mean a quiet sat nite n i need 2 miss the pitchers popcorn party lol

xxxxxxxx

another mad weekend!!

Well fri started off that i wasn't going out as i'd had a sickness bug for 48 hours but as the day wore on i started feeling better n decided i really wanted 2 go out so managed 2 persuade my sis n cousin 2 come out. We decided that we would have a drink in mines then head up 2 morgans. My cousin got here bout 7 n i jumped in the bath. When i was in the bath i got a txt from Lj to say that she was in pitchers bar n wanted me 2 go over. I said no cause i really didn't have the money. She txt back n told me she would pay. I still wasn't sure as i had persuaded my sis n cousin 2 go out n didn't think they would fancy Irvine. My sis came in from work n the min i mentioned irvine i knew she was up 4 it. It was a mad dash 2 find something 2 wear as our usual morgans clothes were not dressy enough 4 irvine lol.. We got a taxi at half 10 n met Lj n her pal Michelle in pitchers bar. We had a few drinks in there then went 2 the kings n then upstairs 2 viva.. My cousin was a bit worse 4 wear n kept falling about n then locked herself in the toilet 4 ages wiv my sisters fone. Me n michelle went into the toilet 4 a sneaky fag n saw my cousin smash my my sisters fone off the floor not once but twice so i exploded n michelle had 2 pull me out the toilet lol.. Went n had a wee dance wiv this hot guy. He bent in 4 a kiss so i let him.. Well let me tell u i wish i hadn't bothered cause it was like kissing someone who hadn't been kissed b4 so i pulled away from him n told him 2 come back when he'd learnt 2 kiss lol. At the end of the nite had another argument wiv my cuz in the toilets n had 2 be pulled away from her again. Went outside wiv Lj n Michelle n had a fag while waiting on my sis n cuz coming out. When they came out Lj n michelle went 2 get their lift from Lj's man Wullie. We went round the corner 2 pitchers where our taxi was picking us up. My cuz was crying n screaming stuff then she came right into my face n screamed that i should know wot its like 2 try n kill myself, everyone near 2 us was looking at us n i just lost my temper n grabbed her by the throat n flung her against the shutters n told her never 2 bring that up again. My sis had 2 pull me off her. Nxt thing Lj n wullie turned up n told us 2 get in the car n they brought us home. Ended up wiv 18 missed calls from our taxi lol. Was in the house 20 mins n Derek came round n stayed.





On Saturday Derek left at 2.30pm n mr x picked me up at 3pm n we went 2 Kilmarnock shopping then 2 the scots bonnet 4 dinner n onto the cinema 2 c bride wars. Got home at 9pm n Derek came round at 9.30 n we played friends scene it n i beat him 3 nil. He only stayed til half 1 then went home as he was working on sun..





Had a long lie on sun n got up at 12.45pm. just chilled about the house til mr x came over at 3pm. We ordered a pizza n played friends scene it n i beat him 4 times. He left at 6.30pm n Derek came round at 7. We had a wee drink then went up 2 the karaoke in the commercial wiv mum my sis my bro Robyn n Cheryl then ian n marge came in. was a gr8 wee nite n i was steaming. Me n Derek came back here n had a bit of a talk bout where this is going n do u know am still not sure wots happening lol. Had 2 kick him out at 2 cause he had work 2day...





Holly aint well again. She has a chest infection. Looks like its gonna be a long week. But looking forward 2 nxt weekend as i got my cousins 21st party fri, Dereks work nite out on sat nite n then out 4 Davys bday on sun so thinking of that will get me through a long week xxxxxx

Other peoples problems!!

I don't mind listening 2 other ppls problems but wot bout when i need someone 2 talk 2.. Is anyone there? No cause they r 2 wrapped up in their own shit. I've had my brother down everyday going on about the stuff wiv him n my mum n then my mum on the fone going on about it 2. My sis says she's always there 4 me but everytime i fone her she can't get off quick enough..

Ryan is being bullied at school n the school r doing nothing about it. He's crying all the time, being sick wiv nerves n moody. I can't sleep 4 worrying bout it. I really think am gonna have 2 change his school. Am scared 2 change his school though. What if he doesn't settle? He's already struggling with his school work n the teachers r concerned that he is so far behind. I just don't know wot 2 do 4 the best. His nana is giving me a hard time cause he is miserable n cause am thinking of moving his school. Don't think she realises am his mum n whatever decisions i make is nothing 2 do wiv her...

All i want is my family 2 think of me 4 a change.. They sit here day in day out n don't even care that their grandson/nephew is having problems. Is that so much 2 ask??



Onto another subject, things wiv Derek r so gd. Monday night i sat here like an idiot. He was supposed 2 be here at half 7 n by half 9 he still wasn't here. He foned just after that n he had fallen asleep. He appeared 15 mins later n brought fags 2 make up 4 it. He was very attentive n we had fun. Last nite the kids went 2 their dads n i was supposed 2 c mr x but i decided i'd rather c Derek instead. Mr x isn't gd 4 me but i can't stay away. Maybe Derek is the guy 2 keep me away from him. Had dinner at mums last nite n then met Derek at spar n he took me 2 the pub 4 a quick drink. We came back here n chilled. We just sat watching tv n talked. It was really gd. He asked me 2 his works nite out nxt week n we're going 2 my cousins 21st party together nxt week n i asked him 2 come 2 my best mates engagement party on valentines day. Things r going 2 well, just waiting on something going wrong...

Is it not the weekend yet? Need 2 kick back n get drunk. Oh well just need 2 wait 4 the snow 2 lie so i can go play hehe

An eventful few days

Thurs nite

Was lying along the couch on thurs nite enjoying the tv when i hear a scream, go through 2 the bedroom n holly was sick everywhere. Seriously, i have never seen so much sick come from someone so small. So that was me up the whole entire nite. ryan decided at 5am on fri morning that he 2 would be sick. I was demented

Friday

Ryan was off school n holly was off nursery so that was a bad 2 start 2 the day. finally got them away just after 3. Was gonna go 2 bed since i'd been awake since 6am thurs morning but thought if i did then i wouldn't make my wee nite out n really didn't want that. Went 4 a bath n fell asleep 4 over 2 hours then sat on the couch n crashed out again. I had planned 2 tidy up cause my very houseproud cousin was coming 4 a drink b4 we went out but i never quite managed 2 tidy up. My sis n cousin came n we got rather drunk, think i had most of a bottle of sours..

We stumbled up 2 Morgans bout 10, very hard job since i had heels on n was rather drunk. Got 2 the pub n it was dead though Derek was there n so was Alec my best mate. The bloody pub had no shots that i liked. am telling u, the place is getting worse. My sis could't even get a cheeky vimto cause there was no port. Some stupid 18 year old came over n asked me if i was going wiv Derek, i told her am not cause officially am not. Next thing she was all over him. Wasn't happy.... anyway me n Derek ended up having a fight about it which wasn't 2 nice. The gd thing was that stevie played all my fave songs but managed 2 wait til i went 4 a fag 2 play them. Went out 4 a fag wiv Robyn n the 2 of us sat through the front after that so i had 2 listen 2 her tell me how much she loves scott then how much she hated him. My head was pickled wiv it. Robyn is a really nice girl but hearing bout her n Dereks bro is just not how i would like 2 spend my Fri nite. Eventually Derek came through n apologised 4 our fight. God we're not even together n we're fighting. My sis n cousin went 2 Largs but i stayed wiv robyn n Derek. Robyn n Nikki tried 2 get me 2 go 2 a party but i just wanted to go home. Walked outside the pub n sum idiot who had been causing trouble in the pub all nite had just got a heavy kicking. Served the prick right. him n his mate ran along the town 2 find teh guys that had done it. Derek came home wiv me n Robyn foned 2 check i was ok cause the guy that caused the shit outside the pub n his pal had found them guys that gave him a kicking n there was bottles n bricks being thrown about. So glad we didn't go the town way.. Derek ended up staying

Sat

Went 4 lunch wiv mum n Jen 2 Morgans. Was very nice. Davy came in just as we finished so i left as he started winding me up about Derek. went home n grabbed sum stuff n mr x came n picked me up. He can't be named as i can't take any chances of ppl finding out who he is. We went shopping n he bought me a new outfit 4 my cousins 21st party n also a new book. We went back 2 his n watched 24 n got a disgusting take away. Just climbed into his bed when his neighbours got out their karaoke machine n kept us up all nite wiv their terrible singing. My family n friends all thought i was at my best mates house in irvine, she is the only person who knows bout mr x. Noone would approve

Sun

Mr x had me home 4 9 n came in 4 breakfast. he went home at lunchtime n i went 2 bed 4 a few hours. got up n went 2 the pub n met mum n davy 4 a few drinks. Derek came n met me n had a drink n we came back here n lay watching gavin n stacey. Next thing mum foned in tears cause her n my bro had a huge fight n she threw him out.No sooner had i got off the fone n my bro foned 2 tell me he was coming 2 stay n that he would be down in an hour. He appeared 10 mins l8r. Derek left 5 mins after that n my wasted bro started having a go at me cause derek is so young. i ended up kicking him out 2 lol. I then txt derek n told him that we shouldn't c each other anymore. My brother had wound me up so much.

Woke up this morning n realised i had made a mistake n me n derek r ok now. Seeing him 2nite.


I mite be a single mum but as u can read things r never dull lol xxxxx

a few thoughts

Derek

Last nite Derek came round 4 a few hours cause the kids were away.. he arrived with a bottle of buckfast (how Classy). I had a few wkd's in the fridge left over from the weekend so i decided to have a wee drink which i never do during the week.. Before he came i was really nervous but the min he walked in the door my nerves melted. We get on so well. My only issue is that he is so young. He's not long turned 18 and am going 2 be 26 soon. When we are together though i don't notice the age difference. We had a good laugh and got to know each other. I even let him watch the football lol. my mum phoned me while he was here so that his dad could wind us up. they seem ok about us seeing each other which i was really worried about. Am very proud that all we did was have a wee kiss. He is such a nice guy and i actually really like him.. Was supposed to be seeing him on fri but he has his wee girl so means i can go to Morgans :D

MY MUM

Mum told me yesterday that she's going away the weekend of my birthday with Davy. I am really not happy about it. I know i'm going 2 be 26 but i was hoping to go for lunch with my mum then out with the girls at night. Its the 1 day of the year thats my special day but nooooo he gets in the way again. Am getting a bit fed up of mum changing plans with us for Davy. Am glad she's happy but come on.... STOP CHANGING PLANS..